I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
