I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
