Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
