Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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