How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
