You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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