belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
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