Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
