I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
