But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
