Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
