therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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