I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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