This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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