drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
