Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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