My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Randomize
