It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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