New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
