I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
