i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
