Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
