If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
