I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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