So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
