Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I could fuck to npr.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
