Me too!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize