is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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