You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
