Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The adults are the big ones right?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize