My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
