Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
