Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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