Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize