I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Someone came in the potted fern
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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