her vagine was all disorganized.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
