i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
