Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
