ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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