thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize