They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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