My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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