so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
