I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Cover your peen. We're going out.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
