Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
