I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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