I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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