i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize