ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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