Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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