It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
