I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
