sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
