Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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