No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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