When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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