Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
