I think i peed on brittanys purse
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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