so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
