got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize