Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
