Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
