Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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