I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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