Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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