oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
