I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
