There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
