I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
