We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
