Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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