who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
