tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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